Seiya's people!
by neptune-kitty
Summary: what if Seiya had his own show, what if someone was jealous, talking roaches, Seiya getting dragged off by an angry rei and haruka! sounds good? well if it does please read! Enjoy


Disclaimer: I don't own sailor moon, I wish I did, but that's another story! I Would also like to state disclaims to ideas I got for insist the talking roaches was an idea I got from a movie called Joe's apartment. And another idea was from south park, expect I changed it to make it my own, I just want people to beware of these things. *smiles*  
  
Warning: I have made fun of a lot of people from sailor moon, especially Serena! So if you're a Serena fan please leave if u don't think u can handle it. And I love all the SM characters I just wrote this fanfic because I thought it would be funny, so if I a offend you I am truly sorry. Please enjoy my fic, remember it's my first!  
  
Title: Seiya's People  
  
Announcer: Welcome to everyone's favorite show Seiya's people  
  
Seiya walks on stage wearing a chicken suit  
  
Audience: Claps and gasp  
  
Audience stairs at dumb ass, I mean Seiya * Neptune kitty laughs nervously*  
  
The Audience think to themselves: god NO WONDER WHY NO ONE WANTS TO DATE HIM! Why is he wearing a CHICKEN SUIT! OH god is he wearing make-up too? Talk about getting a little to kink.  
  
Seiya: Well today we are going to talk about the people who are madly in love with me!  
  
Seiya: first lets talk about the lovely miss Rei hino. Who has had the hots for me since the beginning. This fiery tempered hottie still refuse to admit her love for me, I mean, come on I'm no dumb ass.  
  
Audience: yeah sure  
  
Seiya: uh?  
  
Audience: nothing *Audience laughs nervously*  
  
Seiya: anyways, I will also be talking about the beautiful miss Michiru Kaiou, of course she's not more beautiful than me, but come on no one is. Although she come close,to bad she's with that psycho chick! *seiya smiles*  
  
The Audience quietly agree among themselves that this will be Seiya last appears if Haruka see the show today, so the Audience starts taking pictures of Seiya.  
  
Seiya starts posting for the Audience.  
  
The Audience says "you think he's big now, just wait until he's dead, he'll be worth a shit load of money!" * Audience laughs evilly*  
  
Seiya just stairs at the Audience  
  
The Audience stairs back at Seiya  
  
The Audience: Oops did we just say that out loud!?  
  
Seiya nods  
  
Seiya: well I know you guys were kidding *Seiya chuckles a little*  
  
The Audience: yeah sure, just kidding,* laughs nervously* right!  
  
Seiya: well anyways lets get back to stuff about me!  
  
Seiya starts talking shit  
  
BACK STAGE:  
  
A figure sits in the dark room  
  
The figure starts to call someone one the phone  
  
The dark figure: hello Rei, I think u should turn on the TV to Seiya people.  
  
6 seconds later  
  
Rei: that dumb ass piece of shit, that son of a bitch. I'm going to barbecue his chicken butt ass! I'm going to the studio right now.  
  
The dark figure: oh and rei, bring haruka  
  
Rei: *smiles evilly* will do!  
  
They both hang up  
  
The dark figure laughs evilly  
  
At the this point the Author Neptune kitty accidentally turns on the lights  
  
Yaten: damn you Neptune kitty!  
  
Neptune kitty: it wasn't my fault that you don't have a freaking dress room!  
  
Yaten: It's not my fault that I don't have dressing room. Stupid Seiya got this own show we had to cut back on a few things. And of course it had to be my dressing room! So I have to use a two stall men's bathroom!  
  
At that moment before Neptune kitty could replay to Yaten an Audience member walk in the bathroom. 3 seconds later Neptune kitty and Yaten run out of Yaten's so called "dressing room"  
  
Neptune kitty: I bet that doesn't happened everyday, and if it does at least there shit doesn't smell as bad as that!  
  
Yaten: well that guy comes to the show everyday  
  
Neptune kitty: I'm sorry I made fun of your dressing room * starts to cry*  
  
Yaten: it's okay *starts to cry* it's not a dressing room! It's a bathroom with toilets and little talking cockroaches, who are very annoying! * starts to sob*  
  
Neptune kitty: NO IT"S A DRESSING ROOM! * is still crying*  
  
Yaten: no you were right the first time, it's just a bathroom with toilets and the roaches well u know the rest. * sobs some more*  
  
Neptune kitty: NO I SAID IT'S A FUCKIN DRESSING ROOM, got it?  
  
Yaten: *looks at Neptune kitty and looks very scared* YES * in a high pitch voice*  
  
Neptune kitty: thought so  
  
Rei and Haruka walk up to Neptune kitty and Yaten  
  
Mean while back on stage the Audience is being gullible for Seiya.  
  
Seiya: wanted me so bad  
  
All of a sudden Sailor Mars and Sailor Uranus appear  
  
Seiya: Sailor Mars and Sailor Uranus I wasn't expecting you.  
  
Seiya laughs nervously  
  
Seiya: I was just kidding, I would never talk shit about you guys  
  
The Audience: *rolls there eyes* yeah sure  
  
Mars: Mars flame sniper  
  
The flaming hits Seiya chicken, and Seiya is set on fire.  
  
Uranus: *grabs a chain and wraps it around Seiya* so what were you saying about my Michiru?  
  
Seiya: *mutters* Nothing  
  
Mars and Uranus start dragging a chained Seiya to Haruka's car  
  
Seiya: help ME!  
  
Mars: if Seiya comes up miss and six months later is found die, we didn't do it.  
  
Uranus: *puts her fist up* RIGHT AUDIENCE  
  
Audience nods  
  
Uranus: yeah I thought so!  
  
Mars and Uranus make there way off the stage with frighten chained Seiya close by.  
  
As soon as there completely off stage Yaten comes on stage  
  
Yaten: well I guess it's my show now  
  
A voice appears out of no where  
  
The voice: I think not, I am sailor moon roach champions of toilets and behalf of the toilets of the moon, I shall punish you!  
  
Yaten looks all around, but can't seem to find wear that voice was coming from, than he remembered sailor moon roach* his eyes grow wide* he looked down on the floor and saw the most scariest thing in the world, a cockroach with blonde meatballs on it's hair. Than he looked farther and saw 4 cockroaches with it one with raven hair, another with long blonde hair, blue short hair, and a browned haired with a ponytail, oh god this was just too scary for Yaten.  
  
Yaten: *laughs* do u really think u can bet me?  
  
Sailor moon R: well we could try.  
  
Sailor moon R: * looks up to the bathroom and whisper to herself " please toilets of the Moon protect me!"  
  
Sailor moon R: Moon toilet unsanitary  
  
Yaten:*screams* oh my god I'm dirty,You stupid moon bitch!  
  
Serena stands up from the Audience  
  
Serena: uh?  
  
Yaten: not you dumb ass! Go stick your wand up your ass, bitch  
  
Serena: okay * gets her wand and goes to a corner*  
  
Yaten: Ewww, I don't want to even know if she's really doing that!  
  
All of a sudden Yaten hears Serena moan and her transformation music play in the back round.  
  
Yaten: that's nasty! Anyways, I'm gonna get you roach moon bitch  
  
Serena: uh, I thought u told me to stick my wand up my ass?  
  
Yaten: I did!  
  
Serena goes back to hear corner and starts moaning and her transformation music come on in the back round  
  
Yaten: SICK, JUST PLAYING SICK! Anyways, I'm going to kick your ass roach bitch!  
  
Sailor moon roach turns into the legendary roach princess.Yaten accidentally steps on her.  
  
Sailor mars roach: you killed jenny, you bastard!  
  
The Sailor roaches run after Yaten, and chase him around for a few hours.  
  
The author Neptune kitty shows up at of no where.  
  
Well that's all for today folks.  
  
Just than yaten and the sailor roaches are heading for Neptune kitty,  
  
Yaten hides behind Neptune kitty. Neptune kitty take out a water gun and defeats the sailor roaches.  
  
Yaten: thank you, how can I repay u? Anything  
  
Neptune kitty: BE MY SLAVE  
  
Yaten: no I can't do THAT  
  
Neptune kitty: well u said anything, oh well it was worth a try  
  
Just than a masked roach appears  
  
The mask roach: I am shit tuxedo toilet and I shall protect the sailor roaches  
  
Neptune kitty: why are you called shit tuxedo.. * Neptune kitty stopped in mid sentence cause remembered why she called him that* your tuxedo is MADE of SHIT!?  
  
Shit tuxedo: *nods* and now I must avenge my friends  
  
Neptune kitty: well change of plays folks, sorry got to run!  
  
Yaten and Neptune kitty run like there's no tomorrow.  
  
Authors note to reader: I just want to thank you for reading my fanfic, I know it's a little corny *smiles* but I think it's funny! If I have a offended you I am very sorry, I didn't mean too. Please forgive me! And remember I do not mean any of the things I said in fact Seiya is one of my favorite characters. And I hope no one was a offended about the Serena part if so I beg your forgiveness! I hope you enjoyed it, and this is my first fanfic so be gentle, PLEASE!!! Thanks again to all of my readers. =^_^= Have a wonderful day! Don't forget to review please!  
  
Thank you so much Neptune_kitty 


End file.
